


Then I fall asleep to dreams, my dreams of you

by Ksci_janitor



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Body Horror, But mostly angst, Dreams and Nightmares, Fluff and Angst, Just a LITTLE bit of body horror, M/M, Not too much, Pen pal mentions, Sorry for PRU mentions but how can you not run with trying to fix it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 21:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16026740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksci_janitor/pseuds/Ksci_janitor
Summary: Hermann's been having some terrible dreams that may or may not be about Newt. Newt's been trying to tell him something urgent and now gets the chance.  Heads up for some creepy tentacles and Kaiju blood...The title's from Roy Orbison, :P





	Then I fall asleep to dreams, my dreams of you

Hermann’s been worried about Newt. That’s an understatement really. Hermann’s been terrified for Newt. He’s been concerned with Newt’s general well-being ever since he left to work for Shao Industries. Especially since he left before Hermann came to terms about his feelings for him. Surely Newt had felt some part of them in the drift? Hermann had noticed him looking at him for longer than what would be deemed appropriate workplace gazing and he was softer around Hermann, gentler in a way Hermann couldn’t pinpoint other than what he noticed in Newt’s tone and eyes. And then he fucking left him.

Hermann couldn’t blame Newt for leaving the PPDC after ten years of grueling work but - the private sector? He recalled Newt ranting for three hours about the destructive nature of capitalism on every part of the globe and how even damn monsters couldn’t seem to make the rich feel a little more charitable towards everyone on the planet. Despite this, Newt seemed to have nearly no reservations about his new luxurious job, as demonstrated by what he said to Hermann just as he was leaving:

“So, glad you’re finally rid of me?” Newt said as he smirked at Hermann.

“I wouldn’t say glad, Newt, I’m not completely heartless.” Hermann scoffed. “But, err, do you really think this is still the best course of action for your career? It seems a bit odd...for you at least.”

“Why wouldn’t it be? I’ve got no kaiju left to dissect, I’d be a terrible professor (don’t give me that look, you know it’s true), my field of research is basically defunct, and yeah, again, there’s no more kaiju left for me to poke around in. Don’t look so grumpy, I’ll visit you.” Newt shook Hermann’s shoulder before clapping him on the back.

Hermann had just rolled his eyes and told him to remember to write before Newt walked away whistling. Hermann now ached recalling this memory as it was the last time he saw Newt in person. He sees Newt now nearly every month, in dreams.

___

He’s had this dream before.

He was back in the Hong Kong Shatterdome, scribbling an equation on a chalkboard when Newt rushed in like he was being chased. Hermann spotted blood running down Newt’s nose in rivers and onto his chin. His eyes are bloodshot and from the bags beneath them it looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He ran up to Hermann and pulled him into strangled hug. Hermann clutched him back but started to shake.

“Hermann, please, they’re coming for me-”

“Who’s coming for you Newt? Who did this to you?” Hermann pushed Newt away from him to get a good look at his face and saw that the blood on his face is a swirling blue. Kaiju blue. 

“Here, take this,” Newt thrust a letter into Hermann’s hands. “Read it now before-” Newt suddenly stopped talking and his body stiffened. His grasp on Hermann’s arms tightened and he acted as if he was going to throw up. He dry heaved instead and a mass of dark tentacles erupted from within his mouth. Hermann was horrified but couldn’t extricate himself from Newt’s grip while the tentacles prodded around, clearly searching for something. Newt’s eyes glazed over and emanated a glowing blue devoid of thought. Hermann kept pulling and started to scream just as the tentacles reached towards his face and he felt his nose begin to bleed-

Hermann woke up. His head was throbbing. He quickly felt his nose for blood. Examining his fingers, he breathed a sigh of relief that the blood was bright red and not blue. This was the fifth dream in the past six months that he had woken up from dreams like this. He grabbed a tissue and stuffed it up his nose before reaching for his cellphone. 

It would be so easy. Just one quick text, just to see if I’m right.

No.

Just-

No, he didn’t reply the last five times you tried and he won’t again.

Damn it all.

Hermann texted Newt anyway. He had to ask, or at least prove that he had tried to ask about these dreams. Dreams that where always in and around the Shatterdome, where Newt would burst in and begin pleading before inevitably becoming a monsterous mass trying to envelop Hermann. Hermann had woken up screaming and crying the first time it happened, unable to sleep for the rest of the night and texting Next a stream of concerns and questions about his well being. He never texted back.

The nose bleeds were new though. This was the only the second time that had occured and after getting a thorough exam by the doctor and a MRI scan in which they found nothing out of the ordinary, he had to conclude it was an unknown side effect of drifting with anything other than a human brain. He desperately wanted to know if Newt was also experiencing these dreams and nose bleeds. He checked his phone for a reply (there was none) before lying back down and attempting to sleep once more.

___

 

His next dream, almost a whole two months after his last terrifying one, was different to say the least.

Hermann found himself standing in a messy, but comfortable apartment. From the state of the mess and the items strewn about the floor, he hazarded a guess that this place belonged to Newt. Newt himself suddenly bounded in from the hallway and skidded to a halt in front of Hermann. He looked indescribably happy in a ratty MIT sweatshirt, gym shorts, and socks.

“DUDE, FINALLY, OH MY GOD IT WORKED!” Newt swept Hermann into his arms and hugged him tight. Hermann felt his heart begin to race and tried to pry himself free at once.

“No no no no, it’s going to come for us-”

“Whoa, hang on, it’s not going to get us. At least not for a while, I hope.” 

Hermann was about to retort when he noticed Newt’s face was devoid of blood. It still looked like he hadn’t caught up on any sleep but he wasn’t distressed and pleading for help. Newt smiled widely at Hermann. 

“Newt, are you-?”

“Yeah, man, feeling better after getting us away from the Shatterdome. I thought back to when I was tearing out slightly less hair and everything seemed to calm down. Here sit down, I’ll make you some tea.” Newt patted the couch and went into the small kitchen.

Hermann stood confounded for a second before sitting down. “Newt,” he asked while absentmindedly tidying Newt’s cluttered coffee table in front of him, “Who are you running from? Where are we exactly? Why haven’t you just replied to any of my texts or phonecalls or - “

“Whoa, one question at a time my man! I got black, chamomile, green, jasmine, uh something unidentifiable, which tea do you want?” Newt held up several different boxes. “I also got ice cream flavored tea if you want to get craaazy-”

“Err, jasmine please.” Hermann was putting some letters in a neat stack and when he saw his own name on a envelope. It was a letter he had written Newt, long long ago. “Newt, are we in Cambridge right now?”

“Yeah dude! This is during...what, my fourth post doc? Something like that, I never switched apartments between my second and fifth one, I totally remember this shitty sink.” Newt turned on a faucet that groaned and shuddered at him until finally dispersing water.

Hermann looked over the letter he found. 

Dear Newton,

I hope your studies continue to be fruitful this semester. I’m hoping to make a visit to the States soon, NYC actually - perhaps we could meet up and exchange research notes-

Hermann refused to read more, it felt like a previous life where he had reverently wrote Newt letters and set elaborate plans to finally meet him in person. Blushing, he put the letter down and turned around to look at Newt who was placing a kettle on the stove. 

“Newt, what was going on in those dreams? Are you feeling okay? Please tell me you’re okay.”

Newt sighed and scratched the back his head. Hermann felt his heart speed up.

“Look, to be honest, I don’t exactly KNOW know how I’m doing...currently.”

“What the bloody hell does that mean Newt?” Hermann’s hands began to tremble.

Newt walked over to the living room and sat down on the opposite end the couch away from Hermann. He inhaled a deep breath. 

“What I mean is that I haven’t exactly been myself for the past couple of months. Something...someone else is taking over my body, mind, EVERYTHING away from me. I...I don’t know how to stop it.” Newt looked down at his hands as if they were going to begin choking him. Hermann reached over and took one of Newt’s hand into his own. Maybe because this was still just a dream so who knows what was happening was real or not and maybe because he hated seeing Newt look so disgusted with himself, but he suddenly had the courage to touch him, if only slightly.

“Newt, are they the beings we saw in the drift? Are they controlling you somehow? Is that why you haven’t answered any of my messages?”

“Messages? How much have you tried to contact me? Because… I don’t think I’ve gotten any messages from you since I left…” Newt stared at Hermann with a horrified look.

Hermann felt his heart sink to unknowable depths. “Newt, I’ve emailed, texted, called maybe hundreds of times. You’ve somehow gotten none of them?”

Newt slid his hand out of Hermann’s to stifle a cry. “Jesus, dude, no.” He stood up and walked back to the kitchen. He threw open a cabinet, grabbed two mugs, and slammed them down the counter. Newt kicked a cabinet door before he curled into a ball on the floor and started to cry. 

Hermann sat still for moment before getting up and going into the kitchen. He sat down and tried his best to look annoyed rather than terrified.

“Newt please don’t turn into a blubbering mess over this. Something bigger than us is trying their damnedest to keep us apart.” Hermann tried again to touch Newt but his courage failed. He wrung his wrists. “I...I should’ve just visited you in person the minute I started having these dreams. This is how you’ve been trying to contact me, hasn’t it?”

Newt’s tears slowed enough for him to reply. “I...I honestly thought you were just pissed at me for leaving so fast at first. Like, “Gee, Hermann really doesn’t need me anymore, what a dick.” But then I realized I was losing track of days. When I’m awake, it’s not really me doing any of the things I’m doing. My mind starts to feel clouded whenever I start thinking about you or my dad and I don’t know, it comes in these weird waves where I can only feel better by throwing all my energy at work and then I’m suddenly aware of how bone tired I am and I fall asleep. I fall asleep and dream of you.” Newt looked at Hermann with red-rimmed eyes. Hermann stared back, his heart about to leap out of chest. Newt was reaching out for Hermann’s hands when the tea kettle whistled abruptly causing both of them to jump. Newt stood up to grab the kettle while Hermann thought about that outstretched hand. Newt sat back down with the mugs and poured out the water for the both of them.

Hermann cradled the mug to his chest and thought about the implications of Newt being possessed by these beings. It would explain Newt’s behavior for the last six months. It would make the pain of not corresponding in that time a bit better since, hey, it wasn’t Newt doing that after all. The absolute worst part of this though was how could he trust that this was actually happening and not just another agonizing dream? Was this just a figment of his imagination gone wild with the ache of missing Newt in his life? Was this Newt who was gazing longingly at Hermann while he drank his tea really the one who hadn’t talked to him in half a year?

“Newt, I don’t know if I can trust any of what’s happening right now.”

“Uh, what does that mean? You don’t trust me?” Newt gave Hermann eyes that could put a puppy to shame.

Hermann swallowed a large gulp of tea before replying. “What I’m saying is that this is merely dream. Dreams aren’t in the realm of reality and, better yet, if what you’re saying is true, how do I know that this isn’t just a trap? If they can control you then what’s to stop them from getting to me?”

Newt stared very hard at him before Hermann’s eyebrows flew up. “Newt no-”

“Yes Herms, you got it.”

“You can’t hold them off like this!”

“Dude, what do you think THIS is? It only took me a couple of months, but hey, we’re here and I’m holding them off, easy peasy-” Right then a drop of blue fell from Newt’s nose into his tea. 

Hermann immediately set his mug down and seized Newt’s hands. “Newt, whatever is happening isn’t real. This is dream, this isn’t real.” Hermann said these things but couldn’t bring himself to believe it. Dreams shouldn’t be be making him feel like the world was ending all over again.

Newt wiped his nose and laughed. He leaned forward and pulled Hermann into a hug. Hermann felt himself simultaneously relax into Newt’s arms and recoil in fear of what would be coming. Newt was warm and soft and Hermann didn’t want to have to tear himself away so soon. He felt Newt breathe into his ear.

“Okay, so maybe I wasn’t as good at avoiding them as I thought. But hey, take this,” Newt slid a letter into Hermann’s front pocket. “Read it and try to find me again in dreams, okay?” 

“Newt, please, let me find you in real life. I could help you-”

Newt tightened his grip around Hermann. “No dude, it’s fine I got it.” Kaiju blue was spilling from his nose now. He pried himself off Hermann and stood up. “Please, just leave before it gets worse.” Hermann burned the image into his brain - Newt standing before him, his sweatshirt and face covered in kaiju blue but displaying such a sweet, weak smile that it would plague his thoughts when he finally woke up. Hermann got up and walked towards the front door. He paused before turning the knob.

“Newt, I will help you. Despite this attempt to keep pushing me away, I’ll get you out of this.”

“Dude, I know you will. Just let me do this for now though, okay?” 

Hermann nodded and opened the door right as he heard Newt begin to retch. He slammed the door shut and ran down a flight of stairs. He got to the ground floor but stopped short of walking into thin air. Where he could once see a lawn and the street, was just mist now. Newt was starting to lose control of the dream landscape. Hermann felt his nose begin to bleed suddenly remembered the letter. He quickly unfolded it from his pocket and read as much as he could before he and it completely disappeared-

"Herms,

Sorry this sucks so much. I’m officially the worst pen pal so I’d understand it if you never want to talk to me again but I’d fucking love it if you still would. Please? Remember that trip to NYC where we finally met? To go the park where we had our first fight. Leave me a note on -”

Hermann woke up. He sighed and wiped away the small bit of blood that had oozed out of his nose. While he felt like crying, no tears came and he felt incredibly small and lonely in his bed. He picked up his phone and stared at it for nearly ten minutes. 

He didn’t text Newt.

_____

Hermann had another dream soon after.

He was wandering around Central Park, near some baseball fields and found the spot where he and Newt had first bickered about the appropriateness of owning so many Kaiju tattoos. Their fight been become so heated that the baseball players had shouted at them to shut up. Hermann felt himself being suddenly interested in the baseball field and wandered over. He stopped at the first base plate. Hermann could feel an energy surrounding him, begging him to keep searching. He couldn’t see anyone around but it felt as if someone was watching him. Someone excited and scared. He stooped down and pulled up the base plate to find a letter underneath it with “GOOD JOB :D” written on the envelope. 

He smiled and opened it up.

**Author's Note:**

> This was kinda my first crack at angst and a little bit of horror but mostly dream nonsense. My family puts a lot of credence in what happens in your dreams and I think that kinda came through in this. Anyway, I post art and more PR stuff on http://k-sci-janitor.tumblr.com/


End file.
